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Let's Not Call The Whole Thing Off:
A Case For Marriage
A Reply To Sandra Tsing Loh's Article Titled Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
by Brian Price 9/6/09

First, if you'd like to read her article, click here. Second, let me just say that this is not a bashing opportunity for me to slam Sandra Tsing Loh. This is an opportunity to take the errors of one person, and then turn it around for others to learn in a biblical way. The Bible says that, "them that sin, rebuke before all." (1 Timothy 5:20)

Since it is supposed to be used as a means of learning, this article is written in a such a manner as though it were a letter written actually to her. Of course, it's practically impossible to write her a real letter because she is a professional magazine writer, and has multitudes of letters, emails, etc., from various people on a daily basis.

But to summarize her article, Sandra writes about her current divorce, in which she admits to an affair, and claims that one should not marry due to the heart ache of divorce. Of course, like many women who have an affair, she thinks nothing of it other than it's impossible for her to make love again to her husband...not because of her shame, but because of her lack of desire towards him. Which is exactly why God says in Proverbs 30:20, "Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."

She goes on to tell about her friends, in which one of them is contemplating divorce. Her friend too is unhappy. But somehow their unhappiness has justified their reasoning to divorce and be rebellious.

She also compares the cultures of America with the cultures of Europe. But by comparing Americans with Europeans, and our belief systems with other belief systems is not wise. The problem of divorce is not just in America, it's all throughout the world. Religion, in her article is an apparant culprit to divorce. She does not come out and say it, but to me it looks that way. My question is: How so? Religious or not, people are going to be stubborn either way. To me, it appears that the article insinuates we ought to elope rather than marry. But eloping is not a solution, it just creates more problems!

In regards to religion, churches are filled with saved and lost people. Divorce does happen to both saved and lost people, but chances are, one of the spouses in most divorce cases is a lost person. In my opinion, that's a very feasible explaination for why people divorce both in America and Europe.

Either way, what difference does it make? Sounds to me like the article is just another voice out there trying to speak evil of Christianity in an indirect way. Or rather, trying to speak evil of the way of truth in an indirect way....

"And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of." - 2 Peter 2:2
Anyway, the rest of her article is mostly an attempt to explain how there are different types of men and women out there, and compatability must play a part in marriage, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's a really long article with a lot of stuff in it that sounds like the poor lady really just comes up empty handed for explainations. She just needs to understand that most men have problems with sinful lust and anger. Or as Tracy from Jesus-is-Lord.com once said, "The little whoremonger just needs to repent." Regardless, here's the letter in reply to her article.


I'd like you to understand that what you have written is very foolish. You do not realize the impact you will have on other women to follow your example of cheating on your husband, then leaving him as if your marriage meant nothing to you. If your husband is like any normal man, he is probably devastated by your adultery, and is probably crying out to God for an answer.

"For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported..." - Esther 1:17
Your problem is not your husband, although I'm sure he has his own sins, but your problem is YOU. You really don't understand that a wise woman builds her house, but you have plucked it down with your bare hands.
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." - Proverbs 14:1
You said these exact words, "Heart-shattering as this moment was - a gravestone sunk down on two decades of history - I would not be able to replace the romantic memory of my fellow transgressor with the more suitable image of my husband, which is what it would take in modern-therapy terms to knit our family's domestic construct back together." In other words, you were saying that the man you committed adultery with has defiled your heart and mind, so much so, that you can no longer see yourself making love to your husband. God calls this wicked.

"2 Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;
3 Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born, and make her as a wilderness, and set her like a dry land, and slay her with thirst.
4 And I will not have mercy upon her children; for they be the children of whoredoms.
5 For their mother hath played the harlot: she that conceived them hath done shamefully: for she said, I will go after my lovers, that give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, mine oil and my drink." -
Hosea 2:2-5
Sandra, you have done shamefully. The Bible says that when a wife departs from her husband, she deals with him in a treacherous way. You have treacherously departed from your husband.
"Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD." - Jeremiah 3:20

"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband..." - 1 Corinthians 7:10

"16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.
18 For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
19 None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life."
- Proverbs 2:16-19

God created marriage. Man created divorce. The reason why there are so many problems with marriage in America is because of the hardness of men's hearts. Men struggle with lust (like pornography). Women struggle with submission. God, when he created the man and woman, he made only one woman for Adam, and that means that he didn't have the option to divorce Eve. It was either her, or nobody at all. You, like most women in America have the luxury to divorce their husbands and find someone else. But just because finding another soul mate is relatively easy in our day, that doesn't mean the wife who left her husband won't suffer the consequences of her actions. Regardless if you think adultery has no real bearing in society, think again. Adultery is not some sort of made up sin that someone penned back thousands of years ago. It's a wicked action that begins in the heart, and ends up in hell.

"32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul." - Proverbs 6:32
Marriage is not an outdated institution, but rather, fornication and adultery is a foolish man's destruction. We are talking about a moral issue. This is not something that merely applies to a person's preference. All of this involves a person's very soul, and his eternal destiny! We cannot approach marriage lightly, thinking that our selfish sinful actions of adultery and divorce will have no impact on anybody. ON THE CONTRARY!

You might have greatly desired your parents to divorce as a child and wished your father to burst into flames, but there are other little girls out there who wish their Daddy's would come and rescue them from their evil mothers who have taken them and fled the country in sinful rebellion. When a woman treacherously cheats on her husband and leaves him, her actions influences the women around her to do the exact same thing! I've seen it happen with my very own eyes. Women learn through the actions of other women. Also, your actions are not actions of feminist freedom. Your actions are sinful rebellion.

"For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." - 1 Samuel 15:23
You might as well wear a pointed hat and fly around on a broom. Because God calls your actions wicked like that of witchcraft! Woe unto you! Misery and shame is what you have brought upon yourself and your children.

You ought to have listened to your miserable friends in miserable marriages themselves. "Think about the children." You don't realize that a child does not need just one parent. The child needs both parents. If there are any victims in a divorce, it is definitely the children.

Our society has been so demoralized because of the teachings of evolution and atheism that its poisoned-filled fangs have infected our churches and everyone in our country. People who don't believe in God are going to act like there isn't one. And people who believe they are nothing but animals are going to act like they are nothing but animals. Experts think they are so smart in giving answers for things they themselves don't understand. Therapists, scientists, counselors, and psychiatrists, are all blind leading the blind. How can they know the answers to a successful marriage when they themselves don't even know? And how can they know what the solution is to divorce when they have no clue?

"While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage." - 2 Peter 2:19

"Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." - Matthew 15:14

The experts themselves are in need of answers. There is only one explaination for why marriages fail: the hardness of men's hearts. Sin. And there is only one answer for a successful marriage: the Lord Jesus Christ. And keeping his commandments.
"7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." -
Matthew 19:7-8
Oh dear Sandra, why don't you repent and ask the Lord Jesus for forgiveness? You are running from your sins that will find you out in the end. And you are trying to solve something that you don't have the answers for.

Brian Price