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Should You Marry Her?
By Brian Price 5/17/2013
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"1 And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan.

2 Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughers of Laban thy mother's brother.

3 And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people;

4 And give thee the blessing of Abraham, to thee, and to thy seed with thee; that thou mayest inherit the land wherein thou art a stranger, which God gave unto Abraham.

5 And Isaac sent away Jacob: and he went to Padanaram unto Laban, son of Bethuel the Syrian, the brother of Rebekah, Jacob's and Esau's mother.

6 When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughers of Canaan;

7 And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram;

8 And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father;

9 Then went Esau unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives which he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael Abraham's son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife.

10 And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran.

11 And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep.

12 And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.

13 And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed;

14 And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed.

15 And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.

16 And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.

17 And he was afraid, and said, How dreadful is this place! this is none other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.

18 And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.

19 And he called the name of that place Bethel: but the name of that city was called Luz at the first.

20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,

21 So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the Lord be my God:

22 And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God's house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee." - Genesis chapter 28

We read here in Genesis chapter 28 about how Isaac blessed Jacob and sent him away to Padanaram to get him a wife from his mother's family. Notice that Isaac specifically charged Jacob to not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. He said, "Thou shalt not take unto thee a wife of the daughers of Canaan." The reason for that was because the natives of the land of Canaan were unbelievers. They were very wicked in the eyes of God, and because of that Jacob was instructed to not take a wife from them. Many years later, God told the children of Jacob to not take wives of the daughters of Canaan because they would surely turn them away from following the LORD. God said, "Thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For they will turn away thy son from following me." (Deuteronomy 7:3-4)

The same principle applies to us today. We ought not to marry unbelievers. The reason for that is the danger that they will turn the Christian away from following God. A good example can be found in the person of Solomon. The Bible says of Solomon that he loved many strange woman. It says, "For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father." (1 King 11:4)

The prophet Hosea said, "Whoredom and wine, and new wine take away the heart." We ought to be very cautious who we choose to be our spouse because marrying the wrong person could lead us astray. When we wonder why so many Christians are no longer Christians anymore, it could be explained that they married the wrong person. How often have we seen it where a good Christian man marries an unbelieving woman, and she turns away his heart from God. Whereas he could have been greatly used of God as a preacher or a missionary, he now sits at home trying to please his ungodly wife who already treats him very badly. Or how often have we seen it where a good Christian girl marries an atheist, and his hate for God and the Bible has poisioned her, so that she no longer attends church or reads her Bible. Truly, it would be wise for us to heed God's clear warnings in the Bible to abstain from being with unbelieving partners.

Now notice the positive commandment Isaac gave to his son Jacob. We already read about his negative commandment to not marry an unbeliever. But now look at his positive commandment for Jacob to take a wife from his mother's family. Isaac said, "But go to Padanaram, and take unto thee a wife from Laban, thy mother's brother, and the LORD God be with thee and bless thee..." Isaac did not completely discourage Jacob from getting married altogether. On the contrary. He wanted his son to get married and live a happy life. That is why he told him to go back to his mother's native land and take a wife from her family. Isaac wanted his son to marry a Christian. Both Isaac and Rebekkah wanted their son to marry a godly woman who would do him good and not evil all the days of his life.

The Christian wife will not live a life that is unpredictable and sinful to her husband like an unbeliever will. Unlike the unsaved woman, the Christian woman is going to do everything in her power to live a life that is godly and well pleasing both to God and her husband. Proverbs 31 spells out exactly what a godly woman is like:

"15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." - Proverbs 31:15, 20-22, 26-30

I think the Bible is very clear when it comes to seeking guidance on who to marry, and who not to marry, does it not? There should not be any doubt in a young person's mind as to who they should marry. It should be very clear to them. And parents ought to be involved in assisting their son or daughter in finding a spouse. We see here in Genesis chapter 28 that Isaac was very authoritative in telling Jacob not to marry a daughter of Canaan, and to instead marry a daughter of the Christian faith. Isaac was not passive in helping his son. He did not say to his son, "Well son, whatever makes you happy. If you want to marry one of the sinful women of Canaan, go right ahead. Even you marry someone named Jezebell, I just want you to know that you have my blessing." No. He said, "Thou shalt not take unto thee a wife of the daughters of Canaan." He specifically instructed his adult son to marry a godly woman.

Parents, did you know that if you don't voice your godly opinion to your child, that they will take someone else's opinion? Perhaps your silence will lead them to listen to some stranger on the street, or some voice in the air. There ought to be an active involvement from the parents in helping their children to find a lifetime partner. It is biblical and in the end, it will be in their best interest.

Now on the flip side, let us take a peek into the life of what an unbelieving woman's life is like, and what dangers await such a godly young man as Jacob if he were to take her to be his wife:

Proverbs chapter 5 through 7 are very detailed in describing the strange woman. It says in various passages these words:

"My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge. For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth. Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel." - Proverbs 5:1-9

Ch. 6 says,

"Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?"

Ch. 7 says,

"(She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him.... Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed."

You see how such a woman contrasts to that of a Christian woman? Her mouth may be smoother than oil, but her end is bitter as wormwood. Her feet go down to death and her steps take hold on hell. Her ways are moveable that thou canst not know them. And then notice how she would behave while Jacob would be out on a journey, perhaps on a business trip. She lures a young man into her home, and brings him to make love in Jacob's own marriage bed. How horrific to think. Surely, such a woman as this ought never to be married to a godly man. My friend, marrying a woman such as what is described here in the Bible would be a sure death sentence. Not only would you be risking your heart to turn away from the God you love, but also, you would be marrying a home wrecker - somebody who cares nothing about God nor you!

Who wants to be married to someone like that?

So let us conclude this message by saying that we ought to take good heed as to who we marry. Although you may love that certain someone, yet, do not ruin your life, nor the lives of your future children by marrying such an outlandish woman (or man). Instead, ask God to direct your paths to the right Christian woman, and marry her on the basis of godly fear and not only on good looks.

If You Died Today, Would You Go To Heaven?