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Man Battles His Own Bad Thoughts - Finds Article on Value of Truth
Email from Neal

From: Neal [email omitted by request]
To: "brian@valueoftruth.org" [brian@valueoftruth.org]
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2012 11:20 AM
Subject: Battling Bad Thoughts


I just wanted to send you this e-mail and thank you for being brave enough to post your message about battling bad thoughts. I have literally struggled with this for years; since I first became a Christian in 2004. I was in Iraq at the time and the nonsense that would flow through my mind terrified me. I had the utmost feeling of anxiety and it would afflict me every day. Being in Iraq, it was intensified because I thought if I was killed, I would instantly go to hell for having such a blasphemous mind towards God. Some of the items you described are exactly what I experienced. I never told anyone what kind of stuff when through my mind because I was terrified they would see me as some kind of freak and kick me out of the church. I love God with all my heart and soul and all I ever wanted was to have a better relationship with him. For years it has been hindered because I always thought I was the only one who suffered from this and God had actually cursed me. I would give myself to Jesus over and over in hopes he would heal me from this affliction.

After reading your post, and many others like it, I found I was not alone and many other people who desperately seek to be reconciled with God are going through the same thing. I was so relieved, words cannot express it. I have never been diagnosed with ADHD or anything like that, but your experiences are EXACTLY what I have been through; concentrating so hard not to think anything blasphemous and then it happens anyway. The guilt and shame was overbearing. I would ask myself what kind of Christian I am to be thinking things as this. Truly God has forsaken me. There were times I considered giving up on Christianity just to have peace of mind. And some of the instances where I fell the most from the path is when I was literally angry at God for this terrible affliction. I would give up on reading the Bible, attending church or anything related to Christianity mainly because I was afraid the behavior would continue.

Now I see that I suffer through it because I truly seek Christ in my heart and continually seek to know Him better and spread the Gospel of salvation. Thank you again for the website. I am a bit embarrassed I did not research it sooner, but I was actually afraid I would read somewhere that I was doomed and had no place in Heaven. God bless you and I will pray for your endeavor; as with others who suffer as well.

In Christ,


Below is my response to this praise report. What a blessing to know that someone's heart was touched by God.

From: brian p [brian@valueoftruth.org]
To: Neal [email omitted by request]; brian p [brian@valueoftruth.org]
Sent: Friday, May 18, 2012 3:14 PM
Subject: Re: Battling Bad Thoughts

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27

Brother Neal,
Thank you very much for this encouraging email. I was so blessed to receive it. I am thankful to God that my article gave you comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this battle against vain thoughts. Even today I had my fair share of battles against vain thoughts, but "...thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:57.

It is a battle much like that of what Paul went through, but remember what Paul said about his afflictions, that, "...out of them all, the Lord delivered me." - 2 Timothy 3:11.

The Bible promises to us that, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all." - Psalms 34:19.

We are promised the victory. So, though we may suffer, we can still have the peace of God, and his victory through Jesus Christ our Lord. Anytime I suffer with my afflictions with vain thoughts, I immediately open my Bible to Psalms 119, and just begin to read. No matter how much it hurts to read, no matter how hard it may be to concentrate, I immediately fill my mind with the comforting scriptures (Romans 15:4). There is no affliction so great that God cannot overcome in us. He has all power, and he is able to deliver us.

I just wanted to encourage you that we've all been there. Some more than others. I've talked to my mother about my battle against bad thoughts, and she's told me that it's never been an issue for her. So some of us suffer more than others. But regardless, God is still able to deliver us. So don't give up hope. Just keep in mind the tools God has given you to get the victory. He's given you his word "...which is able to save your soul." - James 1:21.

I hope you don't mind, but I would like to put your letter on my website as a testimony. If you wish, I can keep your name and email anonymous.

God bless.


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